i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I didn't notice because vodka
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize