You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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