i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
