i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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