Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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