all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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