just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
