Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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