he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
