ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
