I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
