Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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