the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
