yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
