did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
