well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just found puke in my bra..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
