I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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