too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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