So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
