Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
