just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
