dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
