yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
