I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
