all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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