whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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