Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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