I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
