What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
