just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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