Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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