is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
