ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
