How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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