; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
