idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Fuck appropriateness.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
