I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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