i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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