you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
