laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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