Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
