why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
