you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Holy shit dude........stairs
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
