I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
