I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
