I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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