Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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