Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize