"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
