Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
