everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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