It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
