i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
A+ Viking dick
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
