Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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