Whod you bang
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
