atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
