I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
