Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
