whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
